I wondered why.
I was at a party once where there were musicians and singers of varying skills (and states of inebriation) entertaining... each other mostly, but nonetheless, providing a comfortable background to whatever else was going on.
Among them was a man with a shaker chk-chk-a-chking along with whatever song was being played (or attempted). He seemed quite content, quietly - almost meditatatively, filling out the acoustic spaces and providing what, to my ear, was becoming a rhythmic foundation upon which the other sounds were being carried.
In a quiet moment between songs, I complimented him on his sensitivity to timing and rhythm - it seemed to me that no-one had noticed how his chk-chk-a-chking was enhancing everyone else's performances.
His response, which I have pondered only rarely in the intervening years, and which recalled itself again to me today, was, "you can hear rhythms in everything if you listen for them - the ocean waves, the traffic, the footsteps of people walking, even the back-and-forth of voices in conversation."
Now, I hear people talk of vibrations, and energy, and the like, and they are useful enough ways to try to express a feeling or the essence of an idea, but in their own way they are a kind of rhythm too. Sunrise, sunset; the ebb and flow of the tides; the cycles of the moon and the stars; the seasons - these are familiar rhythms which inarguably determine many aspects of our lives.
Rhythms and frequencies are curious things. If you play a single tone it sounds thin and soulless, but if you play it with another carefully chosen tone it can become musical because the harmonic interplay between the notes adds a richness which neither tone possesses by itself. When we are listening to musicians playing together it will sound good only if they are all playing in the same key and to the same beat.
It has occurred to me today that people too have rhythms (we might say a natural harmonic frequency) - the ebb and flow of thoughts and feelings; the pace at which they walk, or breathe, or speak - all of which change depending on whether they are happy or sad; anxious or relaxed, and with their general state of mind. And perhaps there are deeper more subtle rhythms which are more stable, arising from a place closer to the core of who we are, the essence of "I am"?
There may be many people whose company you can enjoy by making just a little effort to match their rhythms, but after a while you become tired and need a break.
With some people the difference is greater between your rhythms and theirs - it might seem that their thoughts are scattered and they talk too fast (or too much), or maybe you feel you're having to slow everything down so they can keep up. You might like these people and recognise that they are decent and good. You will be kind to them, of course, but you will rarely seek them out for company.
Still others carry discordant rhythms which cause us to recoil. Perhaps we sense dishonesty, an intent to take advantage, hostilty or negativity - something which disturbs our inner harmony and puts us on our guard.
It's best to keep an open mind with everyone though, because people aren't machines - their rhythms will change with time, circumstance, and self-reflection.
Maybe, every now and then, people meet whose rhythms match in such a way that they simply merge into an effortless harmony where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. And, when they spend time together, rather than getting tired they feel energised and refreshed.
Perhaps in the best of cases their rhythms affect each other and result in a kind of tidal locking which forms a bond that stands the test of time.
Anyway, I think I felt something like that today. It was good. And it made me think.
- 14th August 2023
